


Stop Counting

by rosepose



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, F/M, M/M, Making Out, Multi, PINOF, Parent!Dan, Phil comforts Dan, dan has a daughter, widower!dan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-18 13:05:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7316290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosepose/pseuds/rosepose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan's wife died a year ago, leaving behind their six year old daughter, Clara. Phil is there to help Dan out when he needs it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stop Counting

Three hundred and ninety four days. That’s how long it had been since Dan’s wife died. He would have liked to think that he’d been coping well. But that would be a total lie. He often found himself wide awake at night. He wouldn’t dare roll over, not to her side of the bed. And so, it's on this night, no different from any other in the aftermath, his six-year-old daughter opens his bedroom door.

“Daddy?” comes the soft whimper of a child. Dan’s heart breaks at the sound.

“Mmm, what is it, sweetheart?”

“Can I sleep with you? I had a bad dream.”

“Of course you can.” Dan frowns and goes to the door, scooping up the small child and depositing her next to him under the covers. She settles in a comfortable place on his chest.

“I miss Mummy,” she sobs.

Dan rubs Clara’s back in an attempt to soothe her. “I know, I know. I miss Mummy, too.” the tears flood back into Dan’s eyes.

“Will Mummy come back, Daddy?” Clara asks pathetically.

“N-no, sweetie, no, she won’t.” Dan pauses. “But you know where she is? She’s right here.” He puts his hand over his heart. “She’s right here in our hearts and we know that we will never forget her.”

Clara nods into her father’s chest. Dan often finds himself in awe of his child. She was his everything. She was apart of him, that he just couldn’t get over. And she was a living, breathing reminder of Emma.

He could remember vividly, the day when Em told him she was pregnant. Dan, who was only twenty-eight then, just gave her the widest smile and said, “Well then we’d better get married.”

That was one of the happiest days of his life.

And with Clara slowly dozing off on his chest, Dan decided that he would stop counting.

It was for the best.

.

.

Dan and Clara are rudely awakened the next morning by the sound of Dan’s alarm. Clara whines. She's tired. “C’mon, honey, you’ve got school,” Dan says softly. He tries to gently pry his daughter off of his chest, but she won't move.

“No, Daddy, you’re warm,” she complains.

“I know, sweetheart.” he whispers into her hair. He then picks her up and carries her to the bathroom.

He brushes her teeth, an event that she always scrunches her nose up at. She doesn't like the taste of the toothpaste.

Once she isndressed, Dan smiles at her and says, “I love you,”

Clara giggles. “I love you too, Daddy.”

“I love you...more!” Dan says, picking his daughter up and spinning her once.

“I love you even more than that!” Clara says, laughing.

“Ohh, you always win!” Dan exclaims in mock-defeat. He kisses his daughter on the forehead before setting her down gently.

There’s a knock at the door. Dan already knows who it is and sure enough, Phil is standing in front of him. “Good morning,” he says. “I brought you some coffee.”

Dan smiles. “That’s nice of you, Phil. Thanks.” He pauses. “Cara--”

“Caramel Macchiato.” Phil finishes.

“You’re the best,” Dan praises, taking a long, satisfying sip of the beverage. “Mmm, come in.” As Phil obliges, Dan asks, “Are you alright to stay here while I take Clara to school.”

Phil smiles and nods. “Of course.” Phil laughs as Dan’s dog runs up to them. He’s jumping up and down, excited to see Phil. “Hey there, Dil,” Phil says.

Dan laughs, punching Phil playfully in the arm. “You know that isn’t his name Phil. It’s Thunder.”

“And yet he answers to it all the same.”

“That’s because you’ve confused him, you dope. He can’t tell the difference.”

Phil sighs. “Here, Thunder,” he says, patting his thighs. Phil’s eyes light up as the dog begins to jump up and down on it’s hind legs.

Dan leaves to get Clara. When he comes back he says, “Go ahead and get set up for the video, m’kay?”

“Okay. Hi there, Clara.”

“Philly!” the small girl exclaims, running into the tall man’s arms. He hoists her up into his arms and she buries her head into his chest. “I missed you, Philly.”

“I missed you, too.” he says. “Don’t worry, I’ll be here when you get home from school.”

“Prawwwwmiseee?” she asks in absolutely the cutest voice ever.

“I promise, Phil assures her. “Do you want to walk or be carried?” Phil asks.

“Carrryyyy pleaseee.”

Dan laughs and takes Clara gently from Phil’s arms. He reaches out and squeezes Phil’s hand out his way out. “Thank you.”

Phil nods, and the grin on his face widens when Clara says. “I love you, Philly.”

“I love you, too, Clara,” he says.

Phil sighs when the door closes and makes his way into the living room. He sets up the camera and tripod and turns on the television as he waits for Dan. He takes a bagel out of his Starbucks bag.

Phil smiles when Thunder comes up to him, wagging his tail. “I know Dan fed you,” Phil says, staring down at the wide eyed dog. It’s begging.

“Nope, not today,” he says sternly, attempting to turn his attention back to the tv. But those goddamn eyes. “Ugh, fine,” he finally says, breaking off a piece and handing to the fluffy creature. “Greedy arse,” he mutters, laughing.

A few minutes later, Dan comes through the door. “I’m back, Phil,” he announces.

“Ok!” Dan joins Phil on the sofa, taking a deep breath. “Are you okay?” Phil questions.

“Um, yeah. This morning, Clara crawled into my bed. She was asking about her mother.”  
“Oh, Dan…” Phil puts a hand on Dan’s shoulder. “It’s going to be okay.”

Dan smiles a little. “You always say that.”

“I know. But only when you need to hear it.”

Dan’s heartbeat immediately hastens as he realizes his close proximity to Phil. He can’t understand why. It’s like he’s 18 again. He bites his lip.

“Are you sure you want to film today?” Phil asks.

Dan nods, but for some reason, neither of them moves after that. It’s like they’re locked in some kind of eternal stare.

It's Phil who finally breaks the silence. “Dan…” is all he says though, because it's all that he can think to say. And in turn, Dan does the only thing he can think of. And that is to kiss Phil.

Phil is surprised by the sudden, familiar sensation of Dan’s lips on his own. He kisses back eagerly, running his fingers through Dan's hair. He never thought he would experience this again.

Dan deepens the kiss, climbing onto Phil’s lap and playing with the hem of the older man’s shirt.

Phil shivers at the feeling of Dan's fingers running across his stomach. “D-Dan…” Phil mutters against Dan’s lips. “Dan,” he says again, more loudly, catching Dan's hand before it can travel any lower.

Dan looks at Phil a moment, as if to say, Why did you stop? Except Dan knows why. Dan reclaims his position next to Phil on the couch and does something he hasn't done in weeks. He sobs. He watches as the world blurs from his tears and kicks off his shoes so that he can draw his knees to his chest.

Phil wraps his arms around his distraught friend. “You'll be okay.”

“I'm sorry I-I loved her so much, Phil,” he whimpers. “Oh, God I shouldn't have…” Dan pauses. “I kissed you.”

“Dan, it's been over a year since Emma died.”

“But...”

“You just do whatever you're comfortable with. And please, don't ever be sorry for kissing me.” He squeezes Dan's hand.  
“I know this isn't news, Phil,” Dan says, “but I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

After Dan dries his tears and calms his breathing, Phil switches the camera on.

“Hey Guys!” Phil says.

“Hello Internet!”

Dan pulls out the sharpie. “Let the whiskering commence!” But before Dan can even make a single mark on Phil’s face, Thunder interrupts them by strolling into the living room and vomiting on the hardwood. Dan gets up assess the mess and rub the dog’s back.

“Ugh, Thunder got sick all over the floor!” he exclaims. “Phil! Have you been feeding him again?!”

“Maybe.” Phil answer to Dan, who is out of shot. He looks down at the floor.

That clip went in the bloopers video.


End file.
